UPDATES

I can't believe how long since I last wrote. Well I am due to have my baby next week. We are as ready as we can be. The room is all done and I love it soooo much, Jason did a fabulous job. I am also overwhelmed and deeply touched at how many people have bought us beautiful gifts for our future daughter, the love that has been shown towards us is soooo comforting. We just can't wait to meet our baby girl. So this is my happy news.

Now for some worrisome news. My Mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer. She has to have exploratory surgery tomorrow in Moncton to see if it has spread to her lympnode. The only time I have been this scared is two years ago when she was very sick and we thought she was going to die at that time. I pray and pray that we will receive another miracle. I just want her to be able to enjoy her new grandchild. I will feel so robbed if she doesn't get the chance to know her and love her. I just can't imagine this earth without my mother. It scares me so much. I know it doesn't sound like I'm being very positive here but I'm just scared. Part of me doesn't want tomorrow to come because if we don't know than I don't have to deal with it but another part wants to know only if it's good news for a change. It just totally sucks!!!! I try to keep reciting my "What is Faith" quote as lord knows that got me through my struggle with infertility, and it does help but then my worrying takes over and I can't get past it. I wake up in the middle of the night and my mind is racing and I can't get back to sleep. I know what will be will be and I have no control over it in the end as it's totally up to whatever God's plan may be but sometimes that is just a tough pill to swallow. Anyways I will continue to pray and hopefully it will be answered.